don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had sex on a roof
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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