ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
pop tarts are not kleenex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
