I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize