Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sober January is a disaster.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
as a side note pls kill me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
