Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?