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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  thats the international knock for joint time

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (323): View more from California

  I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?

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• (+38): View more from

  I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood

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