I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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