Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
