we made out on top of his cat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
