Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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