If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
