I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
