He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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