1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
