I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize