i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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