Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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