You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
