matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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