I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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