I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
