I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
