is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
