I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
