Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
