sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
