i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We have started to decorate penises.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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