He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
