just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
