Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
