His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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