Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
