So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
