i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she smelled like a LAN party
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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