i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
