If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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