"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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