so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
