glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize