Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
