Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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