Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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