Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
