wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I party with great urgency now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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