As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
