five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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