U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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