this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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