i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
