So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
