The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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