All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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