I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
