i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
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I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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