Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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