hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
