i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
