I wish I could teleport
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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