just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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