she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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