wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
