is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
