You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize