Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
