Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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