I wish life had little blips of pornography
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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