No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
