I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
