Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
