Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
