He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
