Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize