We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
