I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
