"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
