Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
